Wrestling for My Life: The Legend, the Reality, and the Faith of a WWE Superstar Read online

  ZONDERVAN

  Wrestling for My Life

  Copyright © 2014 by Shawn Michaels

  Requests for information should be addressed to:

  Zondervan, 3900 Sparks Drive SE, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49546

  ePub Edition © January 2015: ISBN 978-0-310-34079-9

  All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.

  Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

  Any Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers printed in this book are offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Zondervan, nor does Zondervan vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means — electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other — except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

  Published in association with the agency of Encore Sports & Entertainment, LLC, 703 Palomar Airport Road, Suite 200, Carlsbad, CA 92011.

  Cover photography and design: Micah Kandros

  Interior illustration: All photos were provided by the author unless otherwise noted.

  Interior design: Kait Lamphere

  First Printing December 2014

  DEDICATION

  When you get asked to do a dedication page, lots of things and people go through your head.

  For me, first and foremost, my family: Rebecca, Cameron, and Cheyenne. My life! Plain and simple, without them I shudder to think where I would be. Mom, Dad, brothers, sister, friends — the list would go on.

  For this book, I want to dedicate it to anyone and everyone who maybe is like me: Not totally sure of everything other than where they’ve been. And as they go forward, just want to do their best not to make the same mistakes, use the wisdom they’ve gained from those mistakes, and honor God the best way they know how. Now, I know that still allows a lot of room for error, but truthfully, I cling, in white-knuckle fashion, to the Scripture that “Man looks at the outside but God looks at the heart” because I know where my heart lies. And if you do too, but find yourself unsure (admittedly or not) about God’s plan for you, His direction, or His will for your life and are just trying to do your best, then this book is for you.

  “As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried.”

  — PSALM 18:30 KJV

  SPECIAL DEDICATION

  My father passed away last summer as this book was being done. His tombstone reads: Devoted Husband, Father, Patriot, He lived with honor.

  I mention that because, we, his family — sons, daughter, even Mom — may debate whether Dad was good at this or that, but no one has ever questioned my father’s devotion or his honor. Everyone who ever met him has said the same thing.

  I’ve thought a lot about that since my father’s passing. What will they say about me? Now hear me clearly on this: I didn’t say what will “people” say; I said what will “they” — my family — say about me? And the reason I emphasize this, though it may be harsh, is that “people” weren’t by my father’s side when he passed, nor will they be by mine. It will be family.

  My father was the first person I’ve ever watched die . . . I was right by his side, my hand on his heart as he breathed his last breath here and his first breath in eternity.

  All I could think about was what a great man he was and how fortunate I was to get to be there by his side.

  I say all this to emphasize: what will your family say about you? That’s what it all comes down to. Respectfully, friends, business associates, fans, you name it — they likely won’t be there. We get caught up in so much that is trivial and unfortunately forsake so much that isn’t. My tombstone won’t say “I lived with honor,” because for much of my life, before I found Christ, I didn’t do so. But I’m still here . . . and so are you! This world doesn’t let us forget our past, but the Creator of the universe does! Don’t let anyone tell you what your tombstone will say. Begin today, like my father, to be devoted to those who love you and to live with honor.

  CONTENTS

  FOREWORD BY PAUL “TRIPLE H” LEVESQUE

  FOREWORD BY “STONE COLD” STEVE AUSTIN

  INTRODUCTION

  CHAPTER 1: FEELING AT HOME

  CHAPTER 2: FROM BOTTOM UP

  CHAPTER 3: THE GIFT OF WRESTLING

  CHAPTER 4: GRATEFUL FOR SCARS

  CHAPTER 5: LEAVING A LEGACY

  CHAPTER 6: KNOW YOUR IDENTITY

  CHAPTER 7: STAY TRUE TO YOUR STANDARDS

  CHAPTER 8: AIMING TO PLEASE

  CHAPTER 9: SELF-DISCIPLINE BRINGS REWARDS

  CHAPTER 10: “BE THE MAN”

  CHAPTER 11: POWER IN PARTNERSHIP

  CHAPTER 12: MENTORS SEEK TO SERVE

  CHAPTER 13: FREEDOM IN FORGIVENESS

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  FOREWORD

  PAUL “TRIPLE H” LEVESQUE

  I was sitting on the bed in my hotel room getting ready for a show in Birmingham, Alabama, when I got the call from Kevin Nash asking if I would speak to Shawn Michaels. I didn’t know how I felt about it. . . . Of course I would talk to him, but Shawn and I hadn’t spoken in a long time.

  For six years we had been best friends, almost like family. We were together more than we were apart, riding up and down the road more than 300 days a year. There is nothing we wouldn’t do for each other. But ultimately, Shawn’s addictions and self-destruction had pushed me away.

  “Hunter, it’s Shawn.” It was so good to hear his voice, because it sounded different. He wasn’t slurring his words. He didn’t sound bitter and angry, like the Shawn who would say things he knew would hurt you the worst, just to make you feel as bad as he did. There was a clarity and a sincerity to his voice . . . and I hadn’t heard that Shawn in a very long time.

  He asked me for my forgiveness. I was blown away. “Forgiveness” struck me, because it wasn’t something the Shawn I knew would say. In the past, Shawn was always defensive, almost unapologetic for his actions. I wasn’t sure if I should believe Shawn at first, but I was elated at the thought of having my best friend back. Even more than that, I was relieved to unload the burden that on any given day, Shawn might die. He had found the path back to his life, and I couldn’t be happier.

  Then he hit me with another request. After four years of retirement, Shawn asked if he could come back to WWE for one more match, and he said he wanted that match to be with me. Shawn said he wanted his son to watch him wrestle, but I knew the reason ran much deeper than that. Shawn wanted to go out on his terms; he wanted to end his career his way, with one more moment in the spotlight. This match represented closure. The “Heartbreak Kid,” Shawn Michaels, is one of the greatest performers in the history of our industry, and I was honored he wanted to dance his last dance with me.

  At SummerSlam 2002, one of WWE’s biggest pay-per-view events, I wrestled Shawn in front of a sold-out crowd in the Nassau Military Veterans Coliseum in Uniondale, New York, not knowing whether or not he could still physically perform. Truthfully, I don’t know if Shawn knew for sure either. Thirty seconds in, I knew Shawn was still the best I had ever stepped in the ring with. For forty minutes we blew the roof off the building and had what for me, fo
r many reasons, would be one of my most memorable matches. In my mind, that match closed the door on the past and opened the door to Shawn reviving his career and getting his life on track. Most importantly to me, I had my “brother” back.

  I watched Shawn continue down his path and ultimately become the best husband, best father, and quite possibly the best man I know. This book will take you on Shawn’s journey and show you how his faith helped him find himself again.

  Shawn, I love you, my brother.

  — Hunter

  Before you turn another page, you need to ask yourself one question, “Are You Ready?”

  FOREWORD

  “STONE COLD” STEVE AUSTIN

  It’s always nice to see Shawn Michaels these days. We both proudly come from the same line of work, professional wrestling. The pro wrestling scene back in the day was like the Wild Wild West. We traveled all over the world wrestling and living like rock stars. Shawn Michaels was one of the greatest performers in the history of the business.

  Shawn and I rarely crossed paths back in our early days. But finally I made it to the big leagues, WWE, where Shawn was one of the top guys in the territory. Every night I saw Shawn light up a crowd like only he could. Inside the ring Shawn was a king. Outside the ring he was cocky, arrogant, and self-centered. We wrestled on many occasions. Business was business. But outside the ring we never talked. Other than work, we had nothing in common, and quite frankly, on a personal level, I did not care for him, his attitude, or his antics.

  I won my first World Championship from Shawn at WrestleMania 14 in Boston, Massachusetts. No one in the WWE was even sure Shawn was going to go in the ring that night, including myself. After that night, I went my way, and Shawn went his. Somewhere along the way, Shawn found God. I can’t remember how, so I’ll let him tell that story. I will tell you this:

  The Shawn Michaels you see today is a stand-up guy. He is a man’s man. He is a straight shooter. If he looks you in the eye and gives you his word, consider it done. Shawn has always had a great sense of humor, and these days I can laugh along and joke with him because he has left all of his insecurities and arrogance behind. Confidence, peace, and a self-deprecating sense of humor are what I now see in Shawn. I saw glimpses of this back in the day, but now it is truly who he is.

  Nowadays, Shawn and I have come full circle. I’ll go on the record as admitting I have made a few self-improvements as well. We have many things in common now. Family comes first and foremost. A love of the great outdoors, hunting, camping, a close circle of friends, and a four-wheel drive truck are the first things that come to mind.

  They say the Lord works in mysterious ways, and I guess they are right. Because he surely worked a miracle with a man that I am now proud to call my friend.

  INTRODUCTION

  As a twelve-year-old growing up in San Antonio, Texas, I dreamed of wrestling for a living. That was all I wanted to do, and when I allowed my imagination to run free, I could envision myself lifting Southwest Championship Wrestling’s heavyweight championship belt high above my head.

  That was it. That was the best I could see my life becoming. That was the most I felt I could even dream of accomplishing.

  Fortunately, there were people in my life who saw even more in me. I don’t know, perhaps they saw me winning some of the string of championships I eventually achieved in the sport. But I doubt that any of them — especially the ones in those earliest years — could look down the road and see my name on the list included in debates over who is the greatest professional wrestler of all time.

  I now know something that none of us knew at the time: I had been placed on a path that would lead me to the top of our sport, and those who would help me reach the pinnacle had been positioned alongside that path.

  My objective back then was to wrestle. Nothing more than that. But all along, I would come to learn, God held a greater purpose for my life.

  That is what has led me to write this book.

  I can assure you that the Texas teen who needed to be put into a submission hold in order to read a book could not have imagined that eventually he would write a book, much less two books.

  Almost a decade has passed since the release of my first book, Heartbreak & Triumph: The Shawn Michaels Story, thanks to the work of co-writer Aaron Feigenbaum. I enjoyed sharing the story of my life and career, but that was a book for wrestling fans that World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) had asked me to produce. I had been a Christian for about two years when we wrote that book, and while I was free to share how I had come to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and about the early days of my Christian walk, we didn’t go into much detail about my spirituality because we were writing primarily a wrestling book.

  This second book, however, is one I have desired to write. I know the attraction for many readers will be their curiosity about my return to wrestling, the circumstances surrounding my second retirement, and my life since, including my venture into outdoors television. And while I won’t gloss over any of those ventures, my career will not be the ultimate story here as it was in my first book. Instead, I want to write a book that focuses more on the spiritual side of my life.

  I don’t think the best way to describe this book is “writing my life story for a second time.” I prefer to view this one as telling the story of my second life — the one God has given me, and the one that has ignited me with new purpose.

  Faith has transformed my life. Ask the guys who knew me in the wrestling business before my salvation, and they will tell you it has been a complete change — and a needed change. I know, because many have told me both.

  Wrestling used to be my entire identity. Before becoming a Christian, I was known by such nicknames as The Heartbreak Kid, The Showstopper, The Headliner, The Main Event. Looking back, it is fitting that all those were derived exclusively from what I accomplished in the ring. In earning those names, I had been a wrestler and nothing more.

  When I exited the ring for the final time, I walked away with complete peace. That would not have happened without my faith. If I had not been a Christian when I retired, I probably would have been another one of those athletes who struggled miserably through the transition to life after competition. But when I left, being a wrestler was no longer my identity. Being a good husband to my wife, Rebecca, and a good father to my two children, Cameron and Cheyenne, had already become far more important than any title I could earn in the ring.

  I said in my farewell speech that I was leaving to spend more time with my family, and I meant it. I have stayed true to my word.

  While I recognized that I had made an impact on wrestling, there was a place to which God had called me to make a more significant impact: my home. I had made my name in the ring, but at home was where I desired to build my legacy.

  I even view my career differently since writing the first book. Wrestling was such a busy job then that there was little time to pause and reflect on what was happening to me and around me. I have had time to do that now. Plus, my continued growth as a Christian offers a different perspective on my career. I took too many things for granted when I was wrestling, but now I continue to offer thanks for my career.

  I wrestled for the last time in March 2010. I lost that match. Still, I left the ring a winner partly because God had given me a long and wonderful career in wrestling, but more so because He had given me something greater than I could have ever dreamed for myself.

  A new life.

  CHAPTER 1

  FEELING AT HOME

  “Great peace have those who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble” (Psalm 119:165).

  Tears filled my eyes as I sat on the end of the bed.

  The scene was familiar, but the feelings weren’t. Another WrestleMania had been completed and, as usual, I had returned to the hotel with my family and taken a couple of minutes to sit alone and reflect on the night before joining the family for a post-match celebration.

  But this time was different. This was
the last time. Overwhelmed with gratitude for the career now suddenly behind me, I could not help but notice the symbolism of what I was about to do next: get up from where I was sitting and walk away to join my family.

  Sure, I’m a wrestler, yet in a business where “never” never means “never” when there’s a good storyline to sell, I knew I would never wrestle again. Only a few hours before, I had lost to The Undertaker (Mark Calaway) at WrestleMania 26 in a match with the stipulation that if I lost, I must retire. But, hey, if it would have made for a big-bucks pay-per-view for WWE, we could have found a way for me to un-retire. There also could have been a Shawn Michaels Farewell Tour, and we had discussed one.

  But I knew this was the end. I had stepped out of the ring for the last time to step into the life I wanted to live: with my family, back home in Texas.

  I had retired once before, twelve years earlier, in 1998. That time, though, wasn’t on the terms I wanted. I was forced to retire. After fourteen years of being subjected to a merciless pounding that I chose to inflict on myself, my body kicked me out of the ring. I hadn’t liked how my final match had turned out, either. I had agreed to go out with a loss to “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, but had rejected WWE’s idea for how they wanted to send me out of the ring the final time. It happened anyway. That had angered me because it hadn’t provided me the respect I thought I deserved after all I had done for WWE.

  Worse, my life was a wreck. Only in the ring could I be what I wanted to be. And that wasn’t the real me. That was a wrestling character created and altered when needed to put on a good show. And that’s what I did.

  Somehow, I had found this ability to make fans react. Some loved me. Some hated me. But none, it seemed, didn’t experience some kind of strong reaction when hearing before a match, “Making his way to the ring . . . from San Antonio, Texas . . . The Heartbreak Kid . . . Shawn . . . Michaels!”

  I liked being loved. And I liked being hated. I might even have liked being hated more. But outside of that ring, my life had spiraled so out of control — drinking too much, chasing women, doing drugs, popping pills — that I did not like who I really was. A winner in the business, I had become a loser in life.